The SLA of Values!

Hey, I've worked out why Values are all bullshit! It came to me whilst walking home from the station tonight, after I'd had a discussion with someone today who passionately believes in values. Well he's wrong!!

I realised that just like the train I was travelling on, Values perform against a Service Level Agreement (SLAs)!! In other words, just like those crappy SLAs that train companies publish that show just what a high percentage of trains run, and run on time, and yet I as a mere passenger don't feel that the trains do always run. Why only yesterday, at peak time, the train was cancelled, which overcrowds the next few trains.

Anyway, back to Values. Values are like Train Service Level Agreements. Most of the time we adhere to our Values. In fact 99.99% we stick to them! Just one small problem.....the remaining 0.01%!! Let me put it another way. David Beckham for 99.99% of time is faithful, loves Posh, loves his family, would never tell a lie!! Err, just one thing you may have noticed.....the missing 0.01%!! Even murderers aren't murdering for most of the time!! And that I believe is the problem with values. For most of the time we stick to them, mainly because we don't need them or use them, and it's only in the 0.01% of time, the crunch time, that we actually use them, and often they fail. Oh sure my Values of Health, Integrity, Family are rock solid for nearly all of the time, it's just that minuscule moment in time each day when I'm scoffing cakes, that I fail. But it's a very short time in my 24 hours. It's the same with Becks. What's a few extra-marital shags in 10 years, why I bet it's less than 0.01%!! It's insignificant. Well it's insignificant if Becks has a Service Level Agreement with Posh.

The reality is that for most of the time, for most of the day, we're on auto-pilot. We don't need or use our values. And although we're told by gurus, writers, consultants, and trainers, that we live our lives by values, the reality is that we hardly ever use them, and in that moment when they really count, we either can't be bothered, or we ignore our "Values". Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, Sloth, are a great and effective antidote to this Values thing.

So we delude ourselves, because for most of the time we're being "True to our Values". I don't think it's our values which drive change in our lives. It's our activity moment by moment and how we exercise that freedom to choose, or in the case for most of us, to remain apathetically on auto-pilot.

Come on corporate world wake up, it's not about Values. I'm going to have to sit this Values storm out, and wait for it to blow over in 5-10 years, and be some amazing guru with my anti-Values theory.

Why do you think Dilbert is so funny? Because it's anti-values. It reflects our apathy. And it's funny because it's so true.