tonygoodson

Oi Ingerland! No!

Ingerland Football Team. Let’s face it, we don’t have the players, or they don’t perform.  So let’s change it.  Let’s go back to basics, until a generation comes along that can play as a team and have a few world class players. 

No one likes us, we don’t care, we are Ingerland.  We don’t need some fancy foreign tactics our English players don’t or can’t understand  How many English players have been successful abroad?  British players (and managers) don’t do tactics.  They pick players and some vague formation.  You can count on one hand British players and managers who can talk football tactics (Strachan, Shteeve McClaren, Woy?, Bobby Robson? Terry Venables) and most of those have managed abroad.  So an Ingerland Football Manifesto then.

1. 4-4-2
2. Goalkeeper.  You will be big and tall.  You will give your defence confidence either by your great shot stopping and cross catching (Van der Sar or Mark Schwarzer, or by the force of your personality, even though you might be useless (Grobbelaar).
3. Full backs are either foraging wingers (Ashley Cole), or mean nasty thugs sitting deep (Stuart Pearce, who could attack and take a free kick and penalty!).  If you can do both you are world class, my son.
4. We will have one tall centre back (Jack Charlton) who heads things and goes up for set pieces, and one fast centre back who can pass (Bobby Moore, except he wasn’t that fast).
5. You will be a right winger with a right foot who can cross the ball, regardless of if you can beat a man or not (Beckham has never beaten a player for pace!).
6. Left winger ditto. 
7. If you’re not a good crossing winger, we will revert to wingless wonders with a midfield that can score goals and rotate going forward (David Platt, Martin Peters, Paul Scholes).
8. Midfield.  We will have one defending, tackling, distributing midfielder (Barry, Hargreaves), and one skilful midfielder with a great engine (Gerrard, Alan Ball, Bobby Charlton, Paul Gascoigne).
9. Up front we will have a big hard centre forward (Crouch) who can hold the ball up and head, and a fast skilful forward (Rooney) who will drop deep and then run through the centre with the ball.
10. When we are moving the ball out of the back, either the skilful midfielder (Gerrard) will take control, or the fast skilful forward (Rooney) will drop deep and pass and run (give and go, in any direction of his choosing). 
11. Rooney is free to roam, and will be a nightmare to mark (Think Beardsley, Think Sheringham).  We will never make our fast skilful forward our primary (and only) source of goals. 
12. We will not hit long balls with a new World Cup ball we haven’t used for at least 6 months.  If we find any Johnnie Foreigner introducing a new ball to the World Cup we will let our xenophobic media know about it months in advance.
13. The team will lead itself on the field and be self adjusting using this system, with less reliance on the manager. 
14. The manager will pick the best player in each of these eleven 4-4-2 positions.  He will not introduce anything too complex for an English player’s brain, other than a pre-match and half time pep talk.
15. The manager can only make substitutions at half time or up to 20 mins after half time, because what’s the point in throwing some poor sod on with 5 mins to go when you’re 2-0 down.
16. We will mark zonally but we will press the player with the ball anywhere on the pitch, and not jog back slowly as if it’s someone else’s job to press.  And when we get good at closing players down, we will put two players on the man with the ball.
17. We will be a nightmare to play against, and teams will fear us, because they know they’ve been in a game, and we press them, our fullbacks don’t take any nonsense, and our centre back and centre forward are the biggest nastiest meanest (but not necessarily fastest) bastards out there.
18. You get in the team because you can do one of those eleven 4-4-2 jobs, regardless of how you’re playing for your club, and because every time you’ve pulled on the England shirt you’ve played well for your country. 
19. We will have no room for players of great skill or many goals, if they don’t or can’t to it for Ingerland.
20. If you’re the second best right footed winger in the country, you’ll have to wait your turn, you ain’t playing on the left wing.  You should have stuck at it in your academy days, learning to cross with your left foot.
21. Our manager will be Jack Charlton who we’re bringing out of retirement.  If things get really tough he can play centre back again.
22. When we’re ready for some Fancy Foreign Manager, we will re-appoint Steve McClaren, long before he’s in his 70s and everyone calls him Uncle Shteeve.
23. We will be known as the team of No Divers.  We may not win anything for 20 more years, but we won’t be falling or diving like some big shoed clown (Heskey).
24. Our Academy will teach only one thing to our new talent.  For 3 years you will be playing on your weaker foot (oh, and taking penalties).  Or better still, you can’t join the academy unless you can play with both feet.
25. We will no longer label an English player as world class until they’ve won something, like err, the World Cup.
26. Abnormally sized footballers are scary to play against, so any very tall, thick trunked legs, sharp elbows, ability to stay upright and not fall over like Bambi on Ice (Heskey) will be welcome in the team
27. Until further notice, we are Ingerland, we don’t care, no one likes us, we play hard 4-4-2 rigid football, because we haven’t got the players with the skill or bottle to do it any other way. 
28. We don’t need some fancy foreign manager because we don’t have any fancy foreign players with enough fancy foreign skills to understand what the hell the fancy foreign manager is going on about.  We will wait another 20 years until we can host a World Cup.
29. If 4-4-2 and Jack Charlton doesn't reap any success over the next 20 years, we will revert to 2-5-3 like on most Table Footballs (or Foosball).
30. Youth teams and Academies will be given 5 years to produce more than 2 Ingerland players, and if they don’t achieve that, they will be closed down forever.

Building a team is very simple.  You pretend you’re the opposition looking over at England.  Who do you not want to see over there.  Stuart Pearce, Viv Anderson, Bryan Robson, Paul Gascoigne, Alan Shearer, Gary Lineker.  Who will you laugh at when you see standing over there try to keep warm, Michael Carrick, Sean Wright Phillips, Rooney playing up front, Frank Lampard, Emile Heskey. Ashley Cole is scary if he’s moving up the pitch.  Rooney is scary running towards the goal, with the ball (not without the ball, or his back to the goal). Joe Cole is scary because he can keep the ball and do things with it.

Think about it, when has international football been fun to watch, ignoring the all time great sides?  Ireland under Jack Charlton (check out the Ireland teams of ‘90 and ‘94 about the same as Ingerland 2010!), and the Aussie team with the exception of that Germany game.  It can sometimes be dire stuff, but you know what you’re getting and the limited skill is allowed to shine.

England could become the most two-footed, fittest, pressing team in the world. that’s better than hoping for players of guile and skill in some new fancy academy grass roots stuff up, Trevor Brooking will no doubt instigate post England 2010, and post Capello.

Audio and Podcasts and Audible

I’m loving audio!  I’m listening to more and more podcasts, and I’ve just signed up to an Audible Gold Account, which gives me 1 audio book per month.  I’ve been with Audible since 2006, originally to listen to the Ricky Gervais podcasts when they moved from Series 1 on The Guardian, to a Series 2 pay version on Audible.

All those Audible ads on the podcasts I listen to must be having an effect on me, because I thought I’d try some audio books.  The first book was a bit difficult.  I was finding Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas unreadable in the printed form.  Heavy Going.  So I thought I’d give the audio version a go. Slightly better, and even better on double speed!!  I got through it.

Initially I’d tried loading the audio book on to a Sansa Clip mp3 player, which I love to use when I’m moving around, the iPhone is a bit heavy to carry, and of course doesn’t “Clip” on.  However, the Sansa player kept jamming with the audio book loaded, so I gave the iPhone a go.  Much better usability, easy to bookmark, with chapters, and double speed reading. which works really well.

So having signed for a Gold Audible account, my first book to listen to is Malcolm Gladwell’s The Outliers which I’ve been meaning to read for a while.  Really loving listening to Malcolm Gladwell reading his own book.

And whilst I’m at it, I’ve just updated my list of podcasts I listen to.  There are some unbelievably good podcasts.  My favourites right now that I’ve recently added;

The Christian O’Connell Solution – Very funny solutions to life

The Adam Carolla Podcast – The meaning of life

Desert Island Discs – At last

The Danny Baker Show – Quirky Football

Murray Lovejoy’s Sports Express – More Quirky Football

Liquid Courage Podcast – Drunk men talking shit!

More or Less – Understanding the Stats behind the headline

This Week in Google

This Week in Startups

Uncle Bobby Robson

I’m not usually so moved by the death of someone famous, who I don’t know personally, but Bobby Robson’s death I’ve found really moving. Though we don’t really know the famous people that the media present us with, Bobby Robson seems to be one of the nicest most decent people.

He was the manager of one of the two best teams I’ve ever seen play live (the other was France with Zidane v Australia 8 years ago), at Old Trafford in the early 80s.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a team come to play Man United at Old Trafford and outplay them, but Robson’s Ipswich team completely outplayed United for 90mins.  I’ve never been able to track down who played for Ipswich that day, but it’s likely to have been Cooper, Burley, Butcher, Osman, Mills, Muhren, Thijssen, Wark, Gates, Mariner, Brazil.  Unbelievably good, and goals from anywhere.

The one thing that is most missing in football nowadays is grace. Bobby Robson had grace.  A great Ipswich team, good England manager, Gazza and Italia ‘90 and all that, mentor to Jose Mourinho at Sporting Lisbon, Porto, and Barcelona, and then the most incredible thing, managing Newcastle United, and he did better than anyone else, to my surprise, before he was crapped on, and I suspect stabbed in the back by a few players.

Bobby’s been there through all my footballing history, starting with Ipswich onwards in ‘69, and he’s been there for me in every decade since.  Farewell Uncle Bobby.

Scholesy's Man United XI

Oh Lordy, my number one distraction.  All time football teams!!  Damn you Paul Scholes and The Guardian for publishing another All Time Team, Man United.  Because it distracts my thoughts.  So, Scholesy's team.

Schmeichel, Neville, Brown! Ferdinand, Irwin, Keane, Robson, Beckham Giggs, Van Nistelrooy, Sheringham.

No Ronaldo, Cantona, Vidic, Stam, Rooney.

I think it's crucial to know who a player like Scholes picks, because it tells you who he likes playing alongside, and who he doesn't like playing against, which I think is the key to picking a team.  Who would I like to play alongside, and who would be a nightmare to play against.  So it's interesting that Scholes likes Ferdinand and Brown behind him and not playing against him.  He likes playing with Sheringham.  It's made me consider my all time Man United team again, and a New Fergie team.

All Time Manchester United Team (from the players I've seen play) .  No question Peter Schmeichel.  Dennis Irwin is right footed. Play him at right back!  And he can take free-kicks and penalty shoot-outs.  Buchan, I think is still the fastest defender I've seen.  Vidic or Stam? Evra if he maintains his form.  Robson and Keane (Scholes has confirmed what I thought).  Now it gets difficult.  On last year's form I'd have Ronaldo, but on this year's form he's out, so it's George Best, who I might have in anyway. Van Nistelrooy or Dennis Law?  I go Van Nistelrooy. Definitely Bobby Charlton for more goalscoring ability.  And the most difficult final one, Cantona, or Rooney, or Sheringham, or Cole, or Yorke! (excellent goals to games ratio), or Hughes, or Tevez, or Ronaldo, or Solskjaer. For the last year, I've gone from Cantona to Rooney, now let's take Scholes's advice and go Sheringham, although Bobby Charlton might play that Sheringham role.  Not Giggs or Beckham for me.

Schmeichel Irwin Buchan Vidic Evra Keane Robson Best Charlton Van Nistelrooy Sheringham

Fergie XI from the Fergie era; Stam for Buchan, I used to have Stam and Buchan together but I think it's time for Vidic.  I do like some of the centreback pairings, Bruce and Pallister, Ferdinand and Vidic, even Moran and McGrath, and Berg and Johnsen! I'm not sure Robson was at his best under Fergie, but let's have him anyway.  Ronaldo is better than Beckham and almost as good as Georgie Best.  if I keep the team balanced then it's Giggs, but he is very one-footed and not the best crosser.  Van Nistelrooy and.....I've changed my mind, by reading the comments and I'll go for Cantona!

Schmeichel Irwin Stam Vidic Evra Keane Robson Ronaldo Giggs Cantona Van Nistelrooy

And if that wasn't enough, there's All Time Teams at Four Four Two, Perfect XI

The Secret of Sporting Success

I've followed and played sport all my life, and I'm fascinated by what makes individual and team success in sport, and can that translate to other walks of life.  An amazing article today on the BBC website, may hold the key. How GB Cycling Went from Tragic to Magic

So when BC's new performance director Peter Keen stood up at the sport's annual conference a year later and said he wanted to make Britain the world's top Olympic cycling nation, many in the room wondered where they had found this guy. Such ambition and enthusiasm. It was all so, well, un-British.

Fast forward a decade, the sport is the jewel in our Olympic crown and the envy of the cycling world. It's very, very good and it knows it. Such confidence and success. It was all so, well, un-British.

Ever wondered why Britain has had no Grand Slam success in tennis.  Why England is now the worst performing major football team now that Spain has won something?  Now we know.  It's a combination of investment and attitude, picking the right players and coaches.  Group success even if it's individual performances, feeding off each other.

I always go to Borg, Edberg, Wilander.  Ovett, Coe, Cram.  One freak comes along, and starts a dynasty.  Not by direct copying but by being in the presence of these guys and training with them, and believing you can do it.  It's not about setting up centres of excellence, if you fill them with the wrong people.  It's about being in the presence of greatness and some of it rubbing off.  So what's going on in Spain!!  What a year they've had, football, cycling, tennis.  Where has that magic come from, and can it be reproduced?  Is it luck, a chance happening, or is there something in the Spanish air, a self-belief?

I thought it was just me who noticed the difference in class between Man United and Chelsea, after we'd won the European Cup this week.  When Chelsea went up to collect their LOSERS medals, Peter Kenyon ("life long Manchester United supporter") the traitor who defected to be Chelsea's Chief Executive, went up to front the team and collect the first medal.  When United went up to collect their medals and cup, they were fronted by Bobby Charlton who refused to wear the medal.

That's the difference between the clubs, and it's now in Peter Kenyon's Wikipedia entry about going to collect the medal.  In fact, David Gill's (Man Utd Chief Exec) wikipedia entry looks classier than Peter Kenyon's!!  I wonder if both are being edited by Man United fans.  It's that kind of passion and detail that shows the class and long term success.

Oh the joy of winning the third European Cup.  It flows through my veins, from the first cup in '68, 10 years after the Munich air disaster in '58 (same date as my birthday), to winning the third cup 50 years after the Munich disaster, via the win in '99.  Bobby Charlton collected because he's associated with all three wins, and survived the plane crash.  And Ryan Giggs broke Bobby Charlton's appearance record in the game. Oh, and George Best's birthday as they collected the cup.

I grew up with the rich history in Manchester.  So it's the one to win.  Just two more European Cup wins to get that Liverpool (Scouse Scum) Monkey off our backs.

I'd predicted 0-0 and Chelsea winning on penalties.  1-1 and John Terry running in to win it for Chelsea was as close to my prediction as it got.  He fell over and we won.

Bobby Fischer, Kevin Keegan, and Sarah Green!

I'm getting powerful vibes from the 70s.  First Bobby Fischer.  Died on Thursday.  Kevin Keegan back at Newcastle United, and now my old school has a teacher suspended for making a raunchy advert, before she became a teacher!

I'm getting strong early 70s vibes from the Time Lords!  I grew up on chess.  My Dad taught me, and then I progressed, to a fairly good level.  So Bobby Fischer is a part of my psyche, he's a part of my pre and early teens.  So is Kevin Keegan, but not as someone I worshipped, in fact he was the enemy, unless playing for England!  I don't know Sarah Green, but she's what my school wasn't about then!!

It's funny, but when Bobby Fischer dies or Kevin Keegan walks back to Newcastle it takes up more of my thinking and emotional time, than it really should.  It's my curiosity that sends me on to the internet, to Wikipedia and beyond, but then again, in the late 60s and early 70s, I had my encyclopedias, football, and chess books to lurk in.

I Love Newcastle United

Keegan as the Newcastle manager (again!).  I've changed my mind from I Hate Newcastle United (and vitriolic comments) to Shear(er) love of those Geordies.  We forget, football is about entertainment and intrigue and yer colours, and what better than Newcastle United playing to the stereotype and appointing Kevin Keegan.  It could have been worse (or better for the rest of us) with say Terry Venables!

It has it all, and Shearer still there as some ghostly curse, with Keegan damned if he does appoint Shearer and damned if he doesn't.  How entertaining.  And watching Keegan spend the billions on a stereotypical star centre forward, no midfield, and defenders who have to mop up  behind the midfielders who don't fall back.

You can't hate Newcastle anymore.  In the 60/70s as a Man United fan, you hated Man City, Liverpool, and Leeds.  But Citeh became so pathetic, you couldn't hate them, you could almost have them as your second team.  Similarly, you can't hate Newcastle anymore, just sit and watch the Shakespearian tragedy.  You can now go to St James's Park, get beaten 5-0, win the Premiership, Newcastle win nothing, and everyone is happy.

So the script is now set.  Newcastle United will go on an FA Cup run to the semis or final, and then get absolutely mullered.  A big centre forward is on his way (shame Anelka signed for Chelsea), a lot of money will be spent, in 2008, and since there will be no imperative from owner or fans for Keegan to resign, it could go on for a few years, unless he resigns early.

What's the point in Newcastle having a long term plan over 5 years to be a really big club.  No one has the patience for that, and why would we as the onlookers want something as boring as that, when we can watch the Toon roller-coaster.

But when you think about it, how else can you crack the Big 4 clubs quickly, other than putting a shit load of money on black.  Is Keegan going for the "Mad" Arthur Cox/Terry McDermott axis or something new and spicy, perhaps a big twist like Steve McClaren as coach!!  Who were Keegan's coaching staff at Citeh?

If you scripted this as the perfect scenario for the English Premier League, wouldn't this be what you'd choose for Newcastle?

And as for Alan Shearer, "'Black Widow' Shearer responsible for Newcastle's demise" I couldn't have put it better.

Shearer's not that bad. He just picked the one football club - one he professes to love - and set about turning it into an adjunct of his ego. He never seems particularly concerned about what he could do for the club, unless "friends" divulging to supine journalists the circumstances under which he'd be prepared to manage the club actually counts as helping the Magpies. I'm not sure it does. Now, it's probably true that not everything that has gone wrong at St James' Park in the past decade has been Shearer's fault. Just most of it. But what can one expect from a man who has spent so much of his career letting the world know that he is bigger than any team he plays for - even the national side.

London 2012 and Good Design

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  And then check these comments out on Digg.  Can so many people hate the new London 2012 Olympics logo, and be wrong.  Occasionally a radical new design comes along which questions and changes our perception, but I don't think it's the London 2012 Olympics logo.  And the trouble with design by committee is that they all start to justify what they've done, and lose sight of it being horrible.  It's sharp, ugly, badly coloured in, and confusing.

And talking of colouring in, a few months back there was discussion of developing an icon for Melbourne.  The best comment I read was the suggestion that an icon should be something that can quickly be drawn by an eight year old.  Think Eiffel Tower, think Sydney Opera House, think Empire State Building.  In fact, think Apple iPod.  So my first reaction was to ask my 5 year old to design something for the London 2012 Olympics.  Funny that the BBC website featured the picture above on the front website.

And then with more thinking (but not much), what do you associate with London, and design round that.  And blow me down if other people haven't done the same thing.  Why does new design have to be radical, why can't it be beautiful and err iconic!  The London Olympics are in London because of London, otherwise they'd be in Manchester!!

Finally, in discussion with Johnnie Moore, we might come up with some "Fruit Salad" design using the Frutiger Linotype font to enhance the Fruit Salad look of the new London logo. And I spotted the Donut Logo as well.   And of course there's radical and there's RADICAL!

"Talent is not Enough"

It's a Clive Woodward quote taken from BBC Sportsweek yesterday.  And it follows on from my last post about England football.  There comes a time when you have to choose players who can deliver, and they aren't necessarily the most talented.  Peter Crouch, Geoff Thomas, Carlton Palmer!  Ridiculed out of the England team, but I tell you, I'd rather be playing up against Frank Lampard then any of those three.  Aaron Lennon on the left wing.  Even I fancy my chances at right back playing against him.  Put him on the right wing, and I'd be really scared, at left-back.

And I've been thinking. and about to say something I thought I'd never say.  There seems to be only one difference between Sven Goran-Ericsson and Steve McClaren, and it's .......David Beckham.  Bring back Beckham!  I think Beckham is the most over-rated player ever, and on the pitch in play, I wouldn't worry playing against him, except for those two years when he could actually cross a ball.  However, in a dead ball situation, free-kicks and corners, I'd be very very scared.

Sven is a luck manager, and surely his luck was based on the roll of a dice with Beckham to deliver.  And Becks usually does.  He does nothing down the right, he can't play in central midfield because he's not good enough, but he won't let you down on the right, he gets back to defend, and you have him there for dead ball situations.  The roll of the dice.  Isn't that the difference between 3 Quarter Finals, and non-qualification.

Ok, if someone like Lennon is allowed to play on the right, but Sven and McClaren aren't doing that, so Bring Back Becks!